Review: Couples Who Pray {Rushnell / DuArt}

I knew that Couples Who Pray was not the book for me from its very first sentences claiming that prayer is the key to achieving what men and women desire most of all:  great sex and meaningful communication, respectively.

Those kind of gender stereotypes make me crazy.  Can we please stop reinforcing the idea (especially in Christian circles) that women are not as into sex as men?  Not only it it not true, but it has a way of making women feel like really enjoying sex is somehow unfeminine or wrong, which is not what God designed for us at all.

The final promise on page one for those who follow their 40 Day Prayer Challenge set off more red flags:  "your gauge of happiness will absolutely soar!"  Isn't prayer firstly about growing in intimacy with God, not the benefits returned to the pray-er, especially ones as fleeting as happiness?  In scripture, God's promises of blessing and joy are rarely the same as those our culture defines as happy.

The authors, Louise Duart and Squire Rushnell, married in 2000, just two years before Jim and I, and we hardly feel qualified to write a book on marriage!  Theirs is also a second--and third--marriage, and while I don't mean to come down on divorcees, I do think their writing a marriage primer is a bit premature and presumptuous.  It is based on a speaking series they did called Everything I Know About Wrecking Relationships I Learned in My Last Marriage, and while I get their angle, they didn't sell it for me. 

They use the acronym LAUGH (laughter, appreciation, understanding, God, honor, support) to demonstrate their Six Steps To A Happy Marriage.  None of the steps are from scripture or have anything to do with love, sacrifice, or humility.  The book read more like spiritual self-help than anything truly rooted in biblical principles.  I'm trying to remember if Jesus was even mentioned at all.

The authors have an entertainment background.  Rushnell was an ABC exec and Duart is a comedienne who now speaks for Women of Faith.  The book follows the 40 Day Prayer Challenge experiences of nearly two dozen couples, most of whom work in the entertainment industry or Christian publishing, including famous names like Denzel Washington, Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford, and Rick Warren.

I found their focus on fame to be a little strange.  Some of the couples had never prayed together, and part of the book is focused on why we should pray, presumably to convince the uninitiated.  The target audience can't be Christian couples looking to grow, since it doesn't have the depth to encourage or strengthen believers.  Prayer is always framed as an intimate way to grow closer to your spouse.  While marital intimacy is important, the authors misrepresent prayer as something of a utilitarian exchange rather than a spiritual discipline designed to change our hearts and draw us closer to God's.

Certainly, couples should pray together, and I applaud the authors for trying to encourage couples to strengthen their marriages through the prayer, but I cannot recommend this book.  Its themes are ultimately rooted in self-help and vague religiosity instead of core gospel truths and scripture.

--
I received a review copy from Book Sneeze and was not otherwise compensated.